Tuesday, January 16, 2007

in the dark

It's just after 1 am and I am restless and insomniac. My legs twitch, thumper has been hiccoughing for nearly two hours and I'm hot. I've already peed about 5 times. My boobs are leaking. Amy has woken twice.

Today was D's first day back at work after the summer break, my first day back as a stay at home parent and Amy has been positively feral. She so needs the structure and stimulation of a learning environment. There was disobedience big time and time out and rather more shouting than there should have been.

When she woke at 12.30 she asked me to take her to the toilet and as she was peeing:

Mummy you will always be my favourite friend, even when I am a grown up. And when you die (her voice starts catching and she silently wipes her eyes on her nighty) I will put a big sign up on my house that says My Mummy Has Died. (Bigger sobs here, more eye wiping) And I will invite all my friends and everyone and we'll have a really big party and I will always remember you.

It is way too hard to be four, don't you think? Way harder than being 36 weeks pregnant on a summer's night when you are restless and insomniac.


Blogger Alison said...

You know you're going to make me cry don't you!

We sometimes forget how much little ones think, and try and reason out there world and the world around them, and how they try hard to make the right connections with all the information we take for granted. And it really is such big stuff to sort through.

9:18 am  
Blogger craftydabbler said...

She is so precious. I'm sorry that you two are going through a difficult time. You are doing a wonderful job of taking care of her.

5:42 am  

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